a bit on my journey of being an empath, i am not shy

I feel other peoples emotions immensely. In the past I would often take other’s emotions on as my own. It is hard to explain. I would feel myself become nervous, anxious, sad, worried, angry, or fearful and I could not explain why. Logically in my head I was not feeling that way and I could not identify the thing that had triggered the emotion.

It was all very confusing and exhausting until I read an article on what it means to be an empath, then it all made sense. Not only did it make sense but I started learning how to separate my personal feelings from what I was picking up from others and not letting myself get pulled off center by them.

I have had a pretty good handle on this since I was about 25. Knowing when I need to pull in my “feelers”, when it is time to retreat, allowing myself time to recharge, and spending time in nature are all things I use to cope with my over-sensitivities.

I am able to stay longer at large parties or events and not be over stimulated by loud music and voices by using what I call a shield. It is a conscious practice where I can fade unimportant noises and voices into the background.

It is like my “feelers” extend way beyond where most peoples do, not just beyond but in a through what is around me. I have learned that I can control this and I can pull it in closer to just my own being. It takes focus though and it is hard to communicate well while doing this. But I can enjoy a concert, an art show or other public event without the day of exhaustion that used to happen after such events. I am learning how to communicate better in these situations but it is not without effort.

It is funny to me how everyone has always thought I was shy because of how I had to cope with my over sensitivities. Shy to me infers a fear or insecurity and that is not at all what I have dealt with all my life. Introverted and empathic are totally different from being shy. Or maybe shy was just the word invented before we understood introversion and being empaths…. hmmm….

Anyways, these are just my random thoughts this Thursday morning. It is good to look back and see how far we have come and celebrate our successes.

Celebrate what you’ve accomplished, but raise the bar higher each time you succeed. – Mia Hamm

What are some of your successes? What obstacles have you overcome?


I – Ice Crystals A-Z Challenge 2019

I was fascinated with the fern-like growth of the ice crystals on the dried blades of grass. Nature is just so amazing and WONDERful! I am sure I looked ridiculous to my neighbors laying on my stomach on the frozen ground taking photos!

Every time I see these photos I am reminded to take notice of the little details that are in nature. We can pass by and even trample such things if we do not keep our eyes trained to see the beauty that is all around us.

Photos E – H for A-Z Challenge 2019

The point of this challenge is to post something every day but I was out of town for the weekend to see my daughter and I didn’t bring my computer with me. I am not really sorry for that. I think it is important to leave the tech at home when you are visiting loved ones if possible. So today I am catching up on the A-Z Challenge.

E for Eagle – He flew right over me as I was lounging at the beach on Bois Blanc Island, MI I only had time to grab point and click. I got it but the lighting stinks.
F for Feather – I love finding little things to photograph when walking through the forest.
G for Geese – These two visit our up north property every Spring for a few weeks before they move on. They are a sweet little couple.
H – Hand – This was the torch holder outside of the blacksmith’s shop in Salers, France

Acknowledge where you are.

One of the first things we need to do on the road to saving ourselves is to Acknowledge exactly where we are. Just stop with all the splashing about and take a good look around you.

Many times when we are in the midst of it and flailing about we lose perspective. It helps to just pull back and view your situation as though you are observing a friend. What has you splashing about today?

“Life, she realized, so often became a determined, relentless avoidance of pain-of one’s own, of other people’s. But sometimes pain had to be acknowledged and even touched so that one could move into it and through it and past it. Or else be destroyed by it.” 
― Mary Balogh, Simply Love

Looking at your situation from a third party perspective, gather all the facts, Access what you see? If it were your very best friend in the same situation, how would you describe it? Write it all down. What is the problem? How serious is it really? Is it self made or related to others?

Once you totally acknowledge and define the problem begin thinking about what Advice you would give your very best friend. What would you say to them? Would you tell them that they are making a the proverbial mountain out of a molehill? Would you tell THEM to quit being so dramatic and get a hold of themselves? Perhaps you would tell them “Hey! This is a lot more serious than you are pretending it is.” Would you comfort them and help them see some truths about their situation that they are not seeing? What steps would you give them to help them move forward?

Sometimes we just need help getting our feet back on the ground. The truth is we had the power to save ourselves all along.

Like in the video above, many times we get so caught up in the drama and stress of our own situations that we begin to panic, we feel like we are drowning! And we get angry because no one around us seems to care that we are going to drown! In fact, they all kind of just think it is funny because from their perspective they can see just how easy it would be for us to save ourselves. The truth is though, just like the poor child in the video, shit can get overwhelming! His fear and panic is real in this moment, it doesn’t matter that he has the power to save himself, he truly does not see it, he needs help.
Often it takes a friend to jar someone in a situation out of their panic. “HEY! STOP! STAND UP!”

Be that friend, to others and to yourself.

Just Stand Up

I love @FattManDeezy’s commentary on this video. I mean, it is one thing for a child without life experiences to behave like that, but when a grown person does? I also have to wonder if there isn’t something else going on. I like how he calls out his behavior and mentions that he probably acts this way in life situations as well.

If you are one of these overly dramatic people that makes every molehill into a mountain and every little disagreement with someone becomes a soap opera or fued, it is time to start questioning your over reactions to these things. What is fueling your need for the drama? What fears lie underneath…. no more excuses, no more this is just how I am. Let’s get real. The goal here is to save ourselves. So many times the answer to our problems is to just STAND UP! What’s stopping you?

Save Yourself

(A-Z April Challenge)